Im trying to figure out

     So My neighbor is outside talking to their bestie saying " Oh yeah you would of loved it! They had a wonderful wine tasting. I had like 4 cups of wine. Yeah we went because it was right next door to our lake house in Napa. Uh huh we have a small vineyard but we don't rent it out we just go their on the weekends when we can."  I think that's where her husband creeps off to when she's out here telling all her business. But who am i to judge? Doesn't it say somewhere its better not to judge lest you be judged? Or something like that. Feels kind of bible'y. 

     Any ways, She left before she said on whether her vineyard was near/on the lake. If it was that would of been cool. She said it was a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom. I'm hoping i'm the only one who hears her talking like she thinks she's the only one around. Why you may ask? Well, i'm a good neighbor. I would never break into her house but our neighborhood is bad. I wonder should i warn her? She lives in a black community she probably has a alarm. I have one.

     Well until next time....

To Alcohol or not to alcohol

     So My neighbor is trying to figure out if she is a alcoholic. As usual its around 11:40 at night. For some reason she really likes to go outside in the middle of the night. I mentioned before that we live in a predominate black neighborhood, that's crime ridden.

   well she's talking to Shelly and she asks " OK so i have something to ask. Frank thinks im a alcoholic because i drink wine every night. drinking wine every night doesn't constitute me as a alcoholic does it?" in my mind she wants to hear No. That she's not a alcoholic. I very badly wanted to yell and ask her, does she feel like she needs it? or does she do it because its fun and relaxing? If you feel you can't go to sleep without it or that you can't start cooking dinner without it or whatever task you can think that can make you think to yourself that you need to drink first in order to do any task, then you maybe addicted.

    But of course im in the darkness of my stoop while she tells the neighborhood about her problems and she doesn't see me and she doesn't need to.

Problems

     So let me tell you about my neighbor. I don't know her name. We have never spoken a word to each other, Well unless considering unspoken words. Her garbage was in my driveway one day and I was trying to leave so I pushed her garbage in front of her house. At the same time she was leaving her house. Very awkward. She looked at me like she thought I was trying to steal her garbage cans. Everything in the way she looked at me screamed --.>> THIEF!!! THIEF!!! THIEF!!! I was mad. I just looked at her and turned around and backed my car out the driveway.

     Anyways, I live in one of the worst neighborhoods in the deadliest city's in northern California. My neighbor whose Caucasian loves going outside in her back yard and telling all her business. Business or personal, She doesn't care. I be like a creeper on my stoop in the dark smoking my weed. She must have a wonderful backyard. I hear water all the time. I'm not sure if it's a koi pond or waterfall but it sounds peaceful. Well the other day i'm in the back smoking and she comes out and is like " Yeah Jeff wants us all to go out but I don't really like him but randy just adores him." I'm thinking to myself who is randy? Is that her husbands name? I don't believe they have children. She told the person who I rent from to not rent to no one who has children. Not that she had a say but for to at least consider her feelings when deciding a tenant. No children lives there so randy? Her husband? Adores Jeff? Adores? How? Now by this time I've concluded that maybe they're into being swingers. I don't know.

     She's just blahing blahing on and I'm still puffing on the Jane so i lose some of the conversation. I think what is she talking about now? Blah blah blah, " I'm trying to sell my yacht. Oh yeah were thinking $100,000 not sure yet. You know with all my traveling and he's always working we haven't been out on the water in ages so were going to sell it. Huh? Uh huh". Now I'm thinking to myself why wont she just tell her friend she's going through a divorce. I mean she is talking to her friend right? I don't know. Well anyways, My thought travels back to her owning a yacht. That caught me off guard. Just then, what sounded like it was coming from the yard behind mines a rainfall of gun fire. What's she doing? Sitting on the patio talking. STILL TALKING! I'm like Yo! Your WHITE in a predominant BLACK neighborhood. Their shooting stupid! But maybe I later thought she knew she was safe because she was white. Most black deaths in my neighborhood are caused by other black people. At this time I hear her complaining about her yacht is nice but she really wants a bigger one so they can host social events on it.

     And i just think to myself, i wonder what it feels like to have white peoples problems.